For the past few months, my blog posts have been sporadic, to say the least. (I averaged two posts over the last five months.) To justify this absence to myself, I chalked it up to focusing my time on other things. The day job, extra yoga classes, more travel, working towards big dreams, spending more time with friends and family. But the truth is, I was still doing all those other things back when I was blogging three to four times a week. Blogging never felt like a chore to me, I was loving it. So why did I stop?
The truth is - I felt that my blog wasn't good enough. It wasn't what I had envisioned it to be, and I felt like it may never get there. In my mind, I was striving for perfection, and it always seemed far out of reach. I hated that I never had enough "time" to devote to my website, that the design wasn't as cohesive or beautiful as I wanted it to be. The posts themselves also felt a little too rushed and unrefined, and my grammar skills weren't as up to par as I would have liked. I hated the fact that when I read back through my posts, almost every single sentence started with "I". (As you can see, I'm still having this same issue!) When I flipped through the websites of my fellow bloggers, I couldn't help making comparisons… Their web design is so beautiful! Their writing style so witty and smart! Those photographs look like something from a magazine! Look at all those comments! How did they get all those advertisers?! As a result of these silly comparisons, I ended up feeling like an amateur.
The reason I'm writing this post is because I'm guessing (hoping), that some of you may feel the same way sometimes. And it may not be just about blogging. Holding back on this blog has made me reflect on the other areas I've been holding back on in my life. Instead of just giving up on this blog, I could have kept striving to make it better. I could have acknowledged how awesome it already was. How much it had grown from where it first began. I could have felt grateful for the awesome community that blogging has opened up to me. I could have had the confidence to believe that this website could live up to my vision.
Confidence is the key word here. I've never thought of myself as someone with low self-esteem or a lack of confidence, but lately I've realized I could be doing better in this department. I may appear confident on the outside, but inside, I've got a whole lot of doubt and fear going on. It's something I've decided to acknowledge and work on. I'm currently reading The Confidence Code, and it's made me realize that it is not super-intelligence, or genius-level talent, that helps people land their "dream job" or design their "dream life" - it's confidence. And it's something I think we could all use more of. Let's be real, those bloggers with 50K followers? They feel the same exact way sometimes.
The other key word here is action. Those bloggers with a zillion followers didn't just "get lucky", they worked really hard to provide quality content and grow their readership. They work hard now to maintain it. Some of them had been blogging for several years already before they starting gaining a large following. And maybe you've noticed, they are almost always bringing something new to the table.
"Luck" is not a word that I believe in. I believe in ambition, focus, hard work, and imagination. Call me an idealist, but I truly feel that anything is possible if you set your mind to it. I also think it is so important to reflect on what you've already accomplished. Sometimes we just don't give ourselves the credit we deserve!
Oh, and if you are suffering from a lack of confidence and need a little pick-me-up? When in doubt, buy an awesome hat, or any type of "look at me!" headwear (a crown would work really well if you're feeling particularly brave or fashion-forward). I purchased the hat in the photo above during our recent New Zealand/Australia trip, and something about it just made my confidence level sky rocket. I think it was the beautiful peacock feather pin that was attached. Peacocks are really confident creatures. ;)
I'd love to keep this conversation going in the comments section! I'll be back around the blog more frequently now (although maybe not 4 times a week), and I always love to hear from you. Drop me an email, or catch up with me on Instagram, Steller, and Twitter.